Misplaced Jersey Girl

‘Once a kid from Jersey, always a kid from Jersey.’ … ‘I mean, who can grow up in New Jersey and still be afraid of anything?’ ~ Bon Jovi

If you haven’t figured it out by now, not only am I a Jersey Girl, but also a numbers freak with total memory recall which makes a casual glance at a calendar completely impossible for me … so as I was about to shut down my computer for the night, I realized that exactly 27 years ago I spent tonight Oct 21st at 11 Fayette Lane for what I didn’t know then but ended up being one of my last visits to my childhood home for my ‘Good-Bye’ party … to this day I still remember that feeling I got as I rolled out of the driveway with tears rolling even faster down my face as my parents, brothers, cousins and aunt sent me love and safe travels from under the porch light … I was 20, he was 23 and the world was our oyster, well at least the Pacific side of it … so less than 12 hours later with CB’s in hand, highlighted maps on the seat and 4 on the floor, we headed West … six days, a hell of a drive, 3 kids and many many years later, I am still trying to embrace the laws of the new land … and to quote myself from 10/18/13, just in time for throwback Thursday:

‘I am still trying to remember to order a large pizza instead of a pie (even though we all know actual mud pie is better than any pizza out here); I will be going to the beach or the coast instead of ‘down the shore’; speaking of, Manhattan Beach is not in Brooklyn but Orange County; and I will carry a purse instead of pocketbook (while I find a new place for my change which was once in an appropriately named Change Purse ) … I can no longer pass on the right while honking and giving the finger, now I must wait patiently and wave as I pass; I will drive on the Freeways which implies that they are free but I have already paid over 400 in car registration for the privilege to use if I travel or not; I will never use public transportation because that is looked down upon; I will hold my sarcastic remarks when approached by a Police Office in shorts and bright white socks; and I will smile graciously with my ID in hand while waiting at the random Border Patrol stops located nowhere near the border … but the biggest challenges for me will be in my vocabulary: I will now know when to pronounce my J’s as a G , W or H (very rarely as an actual J) and double L’s as Y, (with Jello being the sole exception to all of the rules); and I will accept that apparently there is an “O” in orange and not two A’s; but the most baffling and biggest hurdle will be that while for 45 yrs I’ve been putting my things in the ‘dresser draw’, someone suspiciously added an “ER” at the end, might need a second ruling on that one though … however, even with all my new life changes to fulfill my duties as a resident of the Golden State, I will never abandon the core values of the Garden State and my ability to use the word FUCK as a noun, adjective & verb (usually in one sentence); my table flipping skills will remain up to par with the best of them; I will always laugh out loud when some tries to pronounce Pasta e Fagioli; and I will continue to be proud of the fact that not only do I know the difference between Gravy and Sauce, I also know that the Statue of Liberty is in NJ not NY, just like the Jets and Giants … Like, I would totally like love to stay and like chat longer dude but I’m off to my therapist, then nutritionist, before finding a Yoga, Pilates, Spin class to join! Tah Tah Air Kisses!’

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